Written by madcaplaughs
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Tuesday, 21 December 2004

REDWOOD CITY, CALIFORNIA - The attendants of the recent Scott Peterson v. State of California sentence hearing got more than an eyeful when the defendant, Scott Peterson, showed up sporting a new look, much to the chagrin of the defense attorneys and Peterson's family.

San Mateo County Superior Court Judge Alfred Delucchi was taken aback when entering the courtroom to begin today's summons. Upon seeing Peterson, Delucchi quipped, "Well, well, looks like we're in the presence of greatness. Wyatt Earp is in my courtroom today." The comment solicited chuckles from the spectators and prosecutors.

Peterson, who was found guilty Nov. 12 of murdering his wife, Laci Peterson, in the first degree and his unborn son, Conner, in the second degree, entered the courtroom today with a thick new moustache, which a spectator said looked like "something crawled under his nose and died", unshaven, and wearing a new 14 kt. diamond stud in his left ear. His eyebrows were noticeably "bushier" as well.

Upon seeing Peterson as he entered the courtroom, defense attorney Mark Geragos shook his head in frustration and Peterson's mother, Jackie Peterson, screamed out in terror.

Though no mention of this new look was made during the attorney's summations, prosecutor David Harris was taken back by laughter during his argument after looking at Peterson. Peterson remained stoic and impassive throughout the hearing.

In addition to the new look; Peterson also spoke out during Geragos' closing statements, supporting his argument. Comments such as "Yeah, that's my nigga" and "You tell ‘em, white boy" were heard coming out of Peterson during the final phase of his much-publicized trial. As he was led back to his cell in shackles, Peterson belted out to the spectators, "Keep it real, homeboys. Aight?"

Geragos, upon being asked about Peterson's new appearance outside the courtroom, stated that he had "absolutely no idea what [his] client was up to today. Personally, I think it's something that stemmed from the jail environment, if you know what I mean."

A source close to the trial said in an interview upon leaving the courtroom, "Peterson is trying to save his hide by passing himself off as a tough guy, a gangsta. Obviously he's failed in that approach. He's trying to blend into the prison scene. Look at him for [expletive]'s sake. He looks like a crack-addicted Frenchman."

Emily Wallace, a habitual spectator and close follower of the trial had her own words about Peterson. "Obviously he's got something up his sleeve. He's probably trying to blame the criminal justice system for his radical change in behavior, but that's all bull----. Come on. Anybody who looks like that must be a baby-killer."

Court is scheduled to resume tomorrow morning. If Peterson is sentenced to "death", he will be awaiting "execution" on San Quentin's so-called "Death Row".

Peterson is currently incarcerated at an undisclosed location. He is under the employ of the jail chaplain and is the drummer for the jail-band, "The Bubba Boys".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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