In a frightening development the US Govt has announced that anyone who wishes to purchase country music , either from shops or by download , must now be licenced .
It will not be enough to prove you are a drunken, denim wearing, pickup driving fuckwit who beats his wife, but now it will be necessary to show your dog has recently died and you do not have the brain pan to deal with the loss in any other way .
A Nashville representative from the "Country Union Nashville Tennesee", Cletus Pornranger , stated in a prepared statement that the new licence was an infringement on the rights of people with no taste and a meagre IQ to have something to get mawkish over whilst getting drunk as skunks on a friday night in the titty bar .
Country music veteran Hank Shitehawk says he will dedicate his new single "My dog died on the wifes grave the day my pickup broke down" to lonely fat beer guzzlers with a tear in their eye and a .44 mag in their waistband .
Lastly we present the final 3 releases that will not require a licence to purchase :-
1. You Can Take the Boy Outta the Country, but You Can't Take the Bullets Outta That Liberal City-Boy Who Just Cut Me Off in His Saab
2. Tearstains on My Pillow Are the Only Wet Spots in My Bed
3. I Dropped the Bookcase On My Darlin' and Pleaded Shelf Defense
Anyone feeling totally depressed about this is advised to marry their sister before she sobers up.