The Center for Politics and the Media is reporting today that there has been a significant increase in the cases of Gas, Bloating, and Diarrhea in the nation's capital. While these ailments have always been prevalent in the nations capital as well as elsewhere,there has been a sharp increase among all three branches of government and politicians of both parties.In most cases it has been deemed a pre-existing condition but the government health care plan still covers the legislators,the executive branch, and the Supreme Court Justices.
"It's not really a physical thing," a doctor from Walter Reed Hospital said, "It's like a mental or attitudinal malady in most cases, but the verbal diarrhea doesn't only affect those around it, but indeed can make an entire nation sick. The gas and bloating, well, that just comes with the territory."
A House Democrat speaking on condition of anonymity said in regard to the gas and bloating, "it seems like no one wants to ride in a crowded elevator any more here in the Capitol. I have and I can tell you why Congressman Boehner never seems to want to look you in the eye and if he does, it's like he's saying, it wasn't me! Damn Republicans, it's always someone else's fault!"
In other breaking news,five Blue Dog Democrats and holdouts on the health care bill, woke up this morning to find severed horses heads in their beds. Speaker Nancy Pelosi has declined comment.