Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Tiger Woods, Madonna

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Aging super sultrist Madonna, who just recently provoked Yankee superstar, ARod, to leave his wife and children for her thigh nest, raised eyebrows in the Big Apple this morning by saying that she believes that she is the mother of Tiger Woods. Until recently this report would not have raised eyebrows, mainly because she is very white, and he is cabliasian. Now, for the first time, she connects the dots with her admitted one night stand with the Big Dipper, Wilt Chamberlain.

As everyone knows, the Big Dipper claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women over his reproductive years that began when he was 12 years old. Statisticians have argued that between dribbles, here and there, he could have possibly fathered at least 1000 children. Madonna, no stranger to sex or controversy, makes her claim on this statistic probability.

While noting that Tiger bears a striking resemblance to both Madonna and Wilt, both physically and morally, it can be claimed that because he was raised by his reputed parents, that they might have better claim to this golfing and ho-mongering superstar. Seriously, why would anyone claim him as a child in the first place?

By all accounts, Hitler took two in the bunker and never got out. We will never know exactly how many shots Tiger hit in the bunker, but he did walk out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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