LONDON - Airport officials at Heathrow today prevented a woman of Saudi Arabian descent from boarding a Trans Atlantic flight from London to Boston.
The woman, who was identified as Duba Meccavitz, reportedly had a total of 39 tattoos just on her arms alone (20 on her left arm and 19 on her right arm).
Heathrow officials stated that the various tattoos represented everything from two humped camels to desert sand castles, and golden palaces to anti-American sentiment like The Yankees suck!, I Hate The Lakers!, and The Great Lakes Ain't So Great!
Miss Meccavitz was traveling with Danyl Johnson of X-Factor fame, whom she said is just a friend. The officer who detained Meccavitz identified as Officer Buckston Cornstubble stated that had never heard of Johnson, the X-Factor, or even the Lakers.
Cornstubble did say that he recalled reading about the Great Lakes in geography class and does recall hearing something or other about the Yankees.
When Johnson asked why Miss Meccavitz was being prevented from boarding the plane to Boston he was asked if she was his wife. Johnson answered that she wasn't. He was asked if she was his girlfriend. Again he replied she wasn't.
Meccavitz then stepped in and said that Johnson was somewhat on the gayish side. Officer Cornstubble turned to Johnson and said, "Oh I see. So ya fancy da blokes now duzz ya?"
Johnson said that he really is not 100 percent sure yet. He then giggled and said that the jury is still kinda out on this one.
Cornstubble became upset and replied, "Fine den. And speakin' of out. Out wiff da boaf of ya...out of dis crikey hallway and out of me airport...by jove! out of me airport ya blitherin' terrestrials."
Security was called and Johnson and Meccavitz were escorted off of Heathrow property and told to drive down to Portsmouth and see about catching a ship to Boston.
SIDENOTE: Officer Cornstubble never gave Miss Meccavitz a valid reason why she was not allowed to board the plane. I asked the director of Heathrow public relations, a Mr. Basil Hazelwood, and he stated "It has been brought to our attention by Scotland Yard as well as the FBI that certain terrorists are now using the chemicals found in the tattoos to fashion mini-bombs that can be made by mixing the tattoo ink with natural old-fashioned female pee, which has a much higher concentration of sodium, ammonium, and estrogen than male pee."