Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for Philadelphia Will Rob Graves To Pay Bills
A New Source Of Revenue

Philadelphia, PA-- Mayor Gomez Nutter has found a unique solution to Philadelphia's budget woes--the city will soon begin robbing tombs to pay its way out of debt. Mayor Nutter believes the grave-robbing program could net the city $25 million a year. Nancy Pelosi, and the democrats in Congress, will be watching the unusual plan with interest.

"We can either begin to close schools and police departments or we can begin to open graves, there's no other solution." said Mayor Nutter. "Lots of people are buried with their jewelery. The dead don't need it, we do." said the nut.

Mayor Nutter hopes 1,000 graves a day can be robbed. Stimulus money from the Obama Administration will pay the grave robbers.

"Just think of all the wonderful things we can find, once we open up all the graves!" said the ghoul. "Maybe we can dig up Ben Franklin's grave and steal his spectacles. Think how much that would be worth!" said the weirdo.

The mayor of America's creepiest city also expressed some sympathy for relatives of the deceased.

"We won't rob any graves of people dead less than six-months. We feel your pain. We are democrats, after all." said the ghoul.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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