"We figured no one would look for me there", Cheney told reporters on a trip to Washington DC, this week to Boo the President whenever he came outside.
"There He Is!", shouted someone near.
Cheney immediately began booing and yelling "You Lie! You Lie!"
"This is fun isn't it? Can't let that Sheehan woman outside Bushy's ranch have all the fun. YOU LIE!! YOU LIE!!"
Back to the confession, Cheney figured that the last place anyone would look for him was at The Hidden Valley Ranch since everyone knew he was a 'Meat and Potatoes' man.
"Oh, that Geraldo did get close one time and I had to keep still and that was hard to do when I have a heart attack and I did, but he never saw or even smelled me. He's over-rated if you ask me. Still, I plan to take his money for his new expose, "The Opening Of Dick Cheney's Undisclosed Location."
"You know what would be funny? If I rigged up a shotgun that shot him in the face. Hee Hee! His face is already pretty rough."
The former VP said he had to go and sign some papers and find a new undisclosed hiding place.