Washington DC-- President Obama says he plans to quit his job tomorrow morning, and open up a nail-salon instead. The president says the job was "just taking up so much of my time" and "it wasn't as much fun as it used to be." Vice-President Joe Biden will be sworn into office as president tomorrow afternoon.
The president called a quick press confernce in the Rose Garden to explain his decision. It was his first news conference since July.
"I hope all the tea-baggers are satisfied now! he pouted. "I'm just too good for this job anyway, you'll all be sorry when I'm gone." lisped the president to the press corps. "And I'm so sick of being abused by you people in the press." he sulked. "You guys are making my hair turn grey." he whined.
President Obama says he plans to open up a nail-salon business Monday, just off Pennsylvania Avenue.
"I'm going to call the salon 'Mr. Tippyfingers Nail Salon and Eyebrow Waxing Parlour." said the president. "And I will be Mr. Tippyfingers!" he giggled.
The president says he hopes people such as Rammed Emmanuel, Joe Assmassa and Barney Frankfurter will join him staff in the salon.
"Sure hope all my homeys join up with me on the new j-o-b! We can gossip all day long and dish the dirt! And we can watch all the cute guys walk by!" he sighed.