Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: CIA, LSD, jackie kennedy

Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for CIA poisoned Jackie Kennedy ancestral town with LSD
Pont-Saint-Esprit were tripping on acid for over a week as the CIA tried to discredit their rumors

Pont-Saint-Esprit, France - (Toxic Mess): A 1951 CIA mind control experiment tried to obliterate the ancestral roots of Jackie Kennedy's home town in France, a new book has revealed.

The sleepy southern French hamlet of Pont-Saint-Esprit was contaminated by paranoid CIA officials who dumped hundreds of gallons of liquid LSD in the Ard├Ęche River.

And the real reasons behind the narcotic outrage are only just becoming clear.

Production of the LSD contaimnant has been sourced to a former Nazi-supporting Swiss pharma company which 'made a bomb' out of supplying the Third Reich.

In 1950 secret business deals took place with Pentagon officials who had been ordered to find 'creative ways' of quashing 'terrible rumors' threatening the national security of the USA.

This resulted in paranoid Pentagon generals executing the mass poisoning of French village ahead of Jackie's nuptials to John F Kennedy.

At the root of the crisis was a tipoff that French relatives of her mad, drunken father Jack 'Blackjack' Bouvier were about to go public about his mobster activities in Washington DC.

It was thought that hundreds of Congressmen, senior Pentagon officials, FBI and CIA staff had been blackmailed by Bouvier over their sexual proclivities, criminal involvements and gambling debts.

And while paying off Jack Bouvier proved to be a relatively simple exercise in $$$ inducements his 1,000 French kith and kin were a serious problem.

The mass poisoning of Pont-Saint-Esprit villagers was originally put down to ergot poisoning in an incident dubbed the Cursed Bread.

Now, some 60 years after the atrocity, the horrible truth is finally becoming apparent.

"Merde alors!" has been the only discernible comment from French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

3 6 16 4

Go to top