Written by Bureau
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Topics: Birds, Mail

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for Biologists Breed Buzzards, Pigeons To Help Carry US Mail
"Look How Big I Am!" "Yeah, But You Smell Funny."

Biologists in Wyoming's famous Cheyenne Think Tank believe they have solved a major problem with the nations mail service by breeding pigeons and buzzards to carry 90% of the nation's cards and letters.

"This will free up the US Post Office to eliminate the personal carriers in small towns and save our citizens from $2.00 stamps that will eventually be here. Plus some of those people performing these services in rural areas can work with the Puzzards, sorting it out before they deliver."

Naturally a large number of people will have to be let go but the biologists say many can retire or be retrained for other jobs, as it will take an estimated six months to a year to get the Puzzards trained once they have enough of them.

Postal Chief Executive Joseph Corbett is excited by the news as fewer people are using the post office to send messages every year, as most communicate by e-mail.

"In all, I expect this to be up and fully running...flying in 5-6 years and many employees can take early retirement and add a part-time job to have a very decent income", stated Corbett.

Corbett added that he thought the postage stamp price will level off somewhere between 50 and 75 cents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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