HALIFAX, Nova Scrotia- Bush praised Canadians today in Halifax of their assistance after 9/11. Half of the population was very pissed off of his arrival. But most Canadian-Bush-Haters flopped their opinions Kerry style when Bush explained "blah blah boogey boogey I love hockey."
Heads turned, bombs went off, protest signs fell after hearing what the Texan President said. President Bush gave a quirky smile, and added, "Peaceful nations must keep the peace by going after the terrorists and disrupting their plans and cutting off their funding."
He also explained that Canada and the U.S. have had their differences in the past. But hoped to one day see eye to eye. He suspiciously added that if he had to, he would stoop down to Prime Minister Paul Martin's height. Noone laughed. The audience was not sure whether or not the remark was supposed to be funny. Bush then droned on for about an hour about how Canadians are good people.
"There's only one way to deal with enemies who plot in secret," he said. "We must take the fight to them. We must be relentless and we must be steadfast in our duty to protect our people, [and that's why I am here in Canada]." Ok, I'm not sure if he really said that. But it'd be funny wouldn't it?
After that, everybody fell back to sleep. Bush, nervous, not knowing what to do, commented on Prime Minister Paul Martin's wife's cooking. Afterwards everybody started "regurjatating" and falling over into siezures. Apparently unconfirmed sources say the Prime Minister Paul Martin's wife's cooking is notoriously bad. Bush appoligized and added how much he loved hockey. Again, the crowd applaused the president.
Bush quickly added, "This is the bestest relationship U.S. and Canadians have ever have, ay?" I guess it seems the U.S. is once again best buds with Canada. Rejoice.