Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Police, New York, Gorilla

Friday, 5 March 2010

image for Ape In Dramatic Stand-Off With NYC Cop
Whaddya Mean Don't Climb The Building?

It seemed like a pretty ordinary kind of day for New York patrolman Ernie Frieze as he walked his 34th Street beat, but then as he approached the Empire State Building he was shocked to find himself confronted by a stray gorilla, which turned out to be the pet of a weirdo rock star which had escaped from an apartment on Central Park West.

The gorilla that is, not the rock star.

Remembering the 1933 King Kong movie starring Fay Wray which he'd seen recently on an all night cable TV channel, Officer Frieze realized immediately that he would have to prevent the gorilla from scaling the building, or chaos might well ensue.

After shouting a warning, Officer Frieze positioned himself physically between the animal and the building while office workers merely ignored what was going on and continued to shout into their cell phones.

The ape feigned like he was going to the right with a drop of the shoulder but a little nimble footwork from Officer Frieze blocked that route.

Officer Frieze and the ape went back and forth in this manner for a good ten minutes before an NYPD Gorilla Control unit showed up and a guy named Officer Joe Young immobilised the animal by tossing a net over it.

The animal was taken to The Bronx Zoo for 'Wellness' checks.

This incident was the seventh recorded stand-off between a cop and a stray ape outside the Empire State Building this year.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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