Written by Michael Anglin
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Topics: Minnesota, tour

Wednesday, 24 November 2004

image for Minnesota to Recount Lakes
A Group of Scientists are waiting to begin counting the Minnesota lakes

In a recent move to dispel rumors that the state of Minnesota actually counted mud puddles in their original slogan "Land of 10,000 Lakes" they have hired a group of scientist who had just finished a tour in the Antarctic. Melvin Swensen an Under Secretary to the Undersecretary to the Undersecretary of the interior states that too many rumors are flying that the real amount of lakes most likely does not exceed over two thousand lakes. He said that the scientist would use the most up to date equipment and a GPS satellite to count lakes. He said that the scientist has been given dimensions to follow and that if a water area does not match that dimension then it will not be counted.

Mr. Swensen states that he personally believes that the original count was taken from a bar in mid winter when most lakes were frozen over.

When asked if the count was less than 10,000 what were they going to do, Mr. Swensen stated that they will present the old count to the legislators for the state and let them vote on accepting the original count. The legislators will vote to have the plus or minus sign stamped on the license plates. "It is not as though some lame brain is actually going to count those lakes, and even if they do by the time they are finished the State will have found a new way to count all the water ponds and rain over filled areas." Melvin Swenson states that mud puddles dry up to quickly to be counted and that places that cannot handle the rain overflow will be added into the lake factors. He is sure that the scientist will find more than enough so the license plate will not have to be changed. Mr. Swensen is pictured situated among the scientist he is the only male standing.

Mordachai Brunner the head of the team said he is looking to get their count done as quickly as possible and now that it is the winter season most of the lakes will be frozen and easier to measure for dimensions and counting. He ads that in the winter it is more pleasurable to count as the Minnesota state bird "The Mosquito" is dormant and will not bother the group.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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