Written by susan allen-rosario
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Thursday, 18 November 2004

image for Colin Powell Resigns… Launches Music Career
"Pimpin' for the President" New CD by Colin Powell

Washington, DC - Secretary of State, Colin Powell, after resigning his post under George W. Bush, announced today that he will be releasing his first Rap CD, "Pimpin' for the President" next week.

"I've been working on this music project on the weekends, for several years, and it is near completion. This project has helped to keep me sane, during my four-year sentence with George W. Bush. It was like being granted parole every weekend, to get out of the White House to work on it, he told reporters. "This is the happiest I've been in years, having my CD nearly ready, and getting the hell away from the White House for good."

Mr. Powell said that he recently discovered the truth about his "roots". "I was shocked to find out that I am actually "Black" or "African American," said Powell. "I remember that growing up, people treated me differently, but I thought it was because I was an "FLK" (Funny Looking Kid). Being Black also explains why Mr. Bush always had me come in the back door of the White House, and drive his limousine, while he rode in the back."

Rap artist Sir Mix Alot, recorded and produced the new CD in a studio near his home in Seattle and helped write many of the new tunes featured on the album.

"When I first heard Mr. Colin sing I thought… Damn! This dude has been with White folks too long! We had to work on some Ebonics and commonly used phases, unique to the Black community. We started with the greeting, ‘Whassup?' and then moved to lighter things like, ‘Yo Momma' jokes, to keep things fun and happening. The guy is so formal, it's hard for him to ‘chill'."

A sample of songs on the CD include:
The title hit: "Pimpin' for the President"
"Spank The Bush Baby"
"Draft"…a spoof rap about war, set to the tune of "Shaft".
"No Mo Ho"…a song about getting away from Condoleezza Rice (at last!)
"Now I'm Black, ain't goin' back… and many, many more…

Critics say it's sure to go "Gold" simply because of the novelty factor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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