Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Cats, Cannabis

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

image for Millions Of Cats Addicted To Marijuana
Felix cannabis

New York, NY - Veterinarians meeting in New York City are seeing an alarming number of house-cats addicted to cannabis. The doctors are seeing more of their furry patients coming into the office stoned out of their little minds. The poor house-cats are victims of second-hand smoke from their so-called masters. The stoned pussies are sent to rehab for thirty days to be cured.

Vets say stoned cats are easy to identify. The felines eyes are almost always green or yellow. The cats sleep most of the day, stare vacantly out the window and chase imaginary mice. In rehab, the cats are taught to sleep most of the day, stare vacantly out the window and chase imaginary rats instead. Cost of rehab is $3500.00 but is covered by most health insurance, including the new federal plan.

Dr. Michelle Critter is a vet who has treated many stoned pussies and wanted to give more information.

"Stoned cats suffer a lot. Their little brains and lungs are much more susceptible to marijuana smoke. Who knows what goes on in their minds when they are stoned." she asked rhetorically. "Their owners should be executed!" she declared.

Dr. Critter says that once rehab is completed, the cats are fine.

"After treatment the cats act normal. They sleep most of the day, they stare out the window and they chase imaginary mice."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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