"Is the war over?" Were the first words Star Zephyrwind uttered while taking his first breath of fresh un-pot-ladened air after more than four decades of hiding in a cave on the upstate New York dairy farm used for the giant rock concert "Woodstock".
Zephyrwind was discovered by construction workers preparing the site for the Woodstock Memorial, a tribute in plastic and stone to the legendary music festival. He had been hiding with his wife Ivy-Peqasus and eight children since an out-of-control LSD trip had caused him to believe that fellow concert goers were 400,000 North Vietnamese soldiers overrunning the area.
"Whoooaaa, the little dudes were everywhere and I knew that they would be pretty upset after finding out how little weed we had to give them," the now even grimier and more bearded flower child remembered.
Local townspeople marveled that they hadn't noticed the cave with its fragrant patchouli oil scent before.
Community leader Caleb Evers said that the family would be bathed and then readied for the news that not only was the Vietnam war over long ago and that Ronald Reagan had become president of the United States, twice! Locals have taken to calling Zephyrwind by the moniker, "RipVanHippie".