2010's first hurricane has formed--and she is one cold bitch! Hurricane Aaaagh formed last night off Miami and she will take a run up the chilly East Coast in the next few days. Hurricane Aaaagh will bring 200MPH winds, 200 inches of snow, and devastating 'snow tornadoes'. No one is expected to survive her devastating punch. All major East Coast cities are being evacuated at this hour.
"We named her Hurricane Aaaagh because you will scream when you learn about her." said Akkuweather meteorologist Harry Madman. "It's the kind of storm that comes along maybe once every 10,000 years. Hurricane Aaaagh will usher in another Ice Age. If you live on the East Coast, you are going to die from this storm. It's that simple." he said sadly.
Hurricane Aaaagh is expected to spawn dozens of 'snow tornadoes.' Snow tornadoes are nature's deadliest creations. Winds over 5,000MPH are expected in some locations. Snow tornadoes can last for hours, they make regular tornadoes seem like a summer breeze.
Hurricane Aaaagh will make landfall just outside Atlantic City on Thursday with 200MPH sustained winds. She will then travel to New York City and Boston and totally destroy both cities. Hurricane Aaaagh will then strengthen and race across the Atlantic to Great Britain. She is expected to cover England almost one-mile deep in snow.
"If you live on the East Coast--get out. Now!" said the crazy weatherman from Akkuweather. "Just turn off your computer, grab some things and go!"