The American Academy of Pediatrics has published a policy statement that because of the risk of death and significant injury due to kids' choking on the hot dog, the classical shape of the frankfurter must be altered.
Doctor Philomena Poole, the Academy's Nutrition Nazi, stated that the size and shape of the hot dog is intrinsically unsafe for the narrow trachea of the average child and "it's time to stop treating accidents and begin preventing them."
When asked about brats and kielbasa, Doctor Poole retorted, "Any long, circular object that has the characteristics that could occlude the juvenile airway should be banned."
In the meantime, Nathan of Nathan's Famous hot dog company is seeking a restraining order on the Academy from publishing its recommendations. Said Nathan: "This is a blatant attempt on the part of the politically-correct, leftist feminists to eradicate the penis. Now, it's the hot dog. Soon it'll be the banana. Then the cucumber. Where will it all end? Castration?"