The Obama Administrone has unveiled a major initiative to create jobs in the embattled American economy.
After a year of sitting on its ass and doing nothing, President Obamination has graciously announced, "Oh, all right already! We'll create ONE job, but it's got to be for a black guy, and he's got to be a licensed masseur, oil furnace technician, nurse and nuclear physicist who likes acorns. He or she must have at least fifteen years marketing experience, must hate white people, be a democrat, have three uncles named Suzy, own a Cadillac Seville OR Coup De Ville (70's models only!) and be a fully qualified lesbian airline pilot with hepatitis C!"
Upon hearing the announcement, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi jumped up, applauded until her fingers bled, had multiple orgasms, drooled, ordered all Republicans shot, and fell into a hyperactivity-induced coma. She was immediately transported to Bethesda Hospital where Doctors have listed her condition as "annoying".
A statue in honor of Obama's fifteenth vacation this year is scheduled for unveiling this week. The cost is estimated at 100 trillion Euros.