Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 17 February 2010

image for Woman Who Was "Torn Between Two Lovers" Wants Body Parts Back
Tonya looked a lot like this when brought into the hospital

A North Dakota woman who was "torn between two lovers" said that she would appreciate the return of her body parts. Tonya Olive said from her hospital bed that she could do a lot more to please each man sexually if they each returned the arm, leg, and ear, and breast that they ripped from her body during a fight.

Juan Ortega and Marshall Henson could not be reached for comment, and blood spatter was noticed in the bed of each man's truck.

Doctor's say that they have a short window of opportunity to reattach the limbs before they begin to decay and it becomes impossible.

One hospital staffer did say that it was hard to be a "stand by your woman, man" if she wouldn't "stand by her man" and kept "taking her love to town."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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