Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: cross

Monday, 1 November 2004

Planning to cross the finish line first, many wonder whether President Bush will be wearing the bulge to win the Presidential race "by a bulge" on election day. After finishing second in all three presidential debates, it is speculated how he might have finished third in a two way debate if he had not been wearing the bulge. Clearly, the bulge was an asset as it is rumored to have been some sort of radio device that transmitted his answers during the debates. A NASA scientist who studies photographs sent by cameras from the Cassini space probe, studied photographs taken during the debates, saying, "George Bush is obviously wearing a receiver of some kind under his jacket for each debate."

Indifferent to such suggestions, the White House at first ignored the bulge saying it was non existent, then called it a suit pucker, and finally suggested it was a poorly tailored shirt.

While the concern factor among political reporters is strong, many are reluctant to pursue the story further, fearing punishment from the White House. However, the fashion media remains undaunted and rose to the challenge, filling the void left by the investigative jounalists.

The BBC team of Trinny and Susannah from `What Not to Wear' fashionably collapsed at the notion, saying President Bush must be purchasing his clothing on the Style network's `Look for Less' program and should be sent to `Style Court', followed by a make over on the `How Do I Look?' program.

In their defense journalists claim Kerry isn't making a big deal out of it, so why should we?

Senator John Kerry was overheard to eloquently say, "So what? I beat the Texas tamale in three debates despite his arsenal of back room advisers giving him pointers on the economy; social security, stem cell research, health care, pharmaceutical prices, minimum wage, tax breaks for the wealthy one percent, the war in Iraq and dropping the ball on the capture of Osama Bin Laden at Tora Bora. I'll beat him in this election too."

Lou Dobbs of CNN news was not as optimistic. Seen standing on an orange crate in the middle of Central Park, he ranted to the trees around, "This is another example of the President outsourcing by having another group provide his answers during the three presidential debates."

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