Written by Tommy_Chewat
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Topics: Politics, business

Monday, 1 November 2004

image for Electoral College - Victory for Bush
The winners address their defeats

MONDAY November 1, 2004. There's no business like show business, except perhaps for politics. In an upset that is sure to go entirely unnoticed by the mainstream media the Electoral College has released a full itinerary for each state, including, how many votes it will award to each candidate tomorrow night. The itinerary has Bush taking the election by a clear 10 electoral votes.

What is unprecedented about this move is the brazen manner in which the administrators are announcing that the popular vote will not be a consideration in the outcome of the election. But rather, the vote will be decided by the less popular means of the Electoral College. The Electoral College has never really been that much of an issue to American democracy that has always placed a great faith in the responsibility of elected leaders to follow the will of the people. What will happen when this faith is betrayed?

In a quote made famous by Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 Bush declared to a gathering of have-mores, "Some people call you the elite, I call you my base." Only now are we seeing the extent to which this statement is true. Those who benefit most from the misdeeds of the Bush administration (tax cuts for the rich, inflated military spending on a illegal war, social security reform etc.) are the exact ones who get to decide whether or not he will stay in power. They've checked their pockets and there is still enough room in them for a little more cash - the decision is final.

As of today, the greater bulk of political polls have John Kerry leading the popular vote by a clear 8 points. How will his supporters react to this move? How will the disenfranchised African American community of Florida respond?

Two months ago, in a move that was viewed largely as political theatrics by commentators. Bush recalled quite a substantial number of National Guard reservists "so they could spend more time with their families." These same reservists are now on alert for possible insurgency within the United States.

We interviewed both republican and democratic voters on the matter and received the following responses:

Democrats

- This is a disgrace to democracy.
- The people won't suffer it.
- I just don't believe they would let America down like that.

Republicans

- If that's what it takes to defend our country then I support it.
- We don't know everything that's going on, perhaps he really will win.
- I can't read this report, it might have anthrax on it.

Regardless of public opinion Bush will win. It is a sad day for America and for the democratic world.

In an unrelated matter Wal-Mart is selling machetes for about six dollars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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