Not only are brakes failing, gas pedal sticking and suddenly launching you down the road at 100 MPH in a 30 MPH zone, now they are having trouble with seat belts.
"I was driving around naked as I usually do on Saturday night", Rufus Henderson told UP2 reporter, Williard "Croc" Coates. "I do that because it's a sort of turn-on for the ladies around here in Buck Up, Arkansas. "When all over sudden, the seat belt flies loose and they goes my Johnson."
Rufus said that before he drove himself and his penis to the hospital, he stopped at the dealership in nearby Hot Springs and 'beat the shit out of him."
"By the time I got to the hospital, they said that I would be OK from the blood loss (some of it was from that car dealer) but that poor old Johnson had died."
The company would issue no comment, only that most people don't drive around naked.
"They do here in Buck Up and I bet them thar nudders do too. I wish I could get my hand on that spokesman."
Henderson seemed surprised when our reporter asked about 'Johnson'.
"Oh, he's dead and buried. Had a real nice funeral."
"See, what they did was replace it with my middle finger. They got a lot of nerve ends and, as long as I keep my nail cut, can actually outperform Johnson on his best day."
"And you know what? I can feel up a lady in front of me any time and when she turns around, I'm holding up both hands and looking behind me."