Police in New York say they got a call in the middle of the night Sunday from a Mrs "Toots" Glamour, a former dancer and prostitute saying that she wanted an injunction against her husband, Hardon Privates.
"Hardon has driven me to despair because there's only one thing he thinks about and that's sex", stated a shaky, bow-legged beauty. "I mean he's a good guy but you never know where you are with him. Or rather, where IT is going to show up. You know...that grinning snake."
Police notified Mr. Privates that his wife was OK but that they might have to get out a warrant for his arrest if he didn't begin treating his wife better.
"I have always treated her to lots of love and candy and love and flowers and love and ...where is she?"
"Is she naked?"
"Then I'll just pretend that she's naked."
Police finally went to arrest Mr. Privates and he and his wife did patch things up..well, his wife was patched up. Mr. Privates has been sent to a sex clinic in Mississippi. If that doesn't cure him, he's agreed to become more normal with six inches removed.
Which will probably happen since the secretary, guard, two staff people and Tiger Woods have fled the scene!