In his Friday morning Speech to the Nation, President Barack Obama continued to talk about all the sex and violence where teenagers are concerned, continuing the subject of Thursday's PM Speech to the Nation.
"With sex and violence all over the internet, TV, movies and the news, I say we give all these young men a blow-up doll by the age of 16."
"Now I know this will be protested by the far right and others. But think it over. They need to have a release for all these hormones raging inside them and it has to come out somewhere, usually in sex and violence."
The President then read all the crime statistics and then brought forward three couples who have tried giving the blow-up dolls to their sons.
"Our Archibald, who is almost bald at 16, stayed in his room with the doll for hours and then showed us his plans for blowing up the entire high school football team. Then he tore them up", stated a Mrs Peananny of New Jersey.
The other two then told their stories saying much the same thing.
"See, it works", stated the President, who then stated that he would propose a new bill before congress and tell us more during his Friday PM Speech to the Nation.
In rebuttal, Mitch McConnell, Republican from Kentucky, held forth about the amazing effects of salt peter.