Written by Paul West
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Pelosi - All Options On The Table For Health Care

Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats joined forces today to announce a new strategy for the Health Care Bill currently languishing in congress.

As she has repeatedly stated Democrats will do whatever it takes to pass comprehensive health care legislation this year even if they have to "go over the wall" as Speaker Pelosi put it.

"We have several more tricks up our sleeve," the Speaker muttered, as she left an emergency meeting of House liberals this morning. "If we can't get over the wall, we will tunnel under it," she remarked. "And if that doesn't work, we still have the nuclear option."

When pressed for more details about this remark Pelosi demurred, only saying, "If we must we would be willing to compromise with the nuclear option as a last resort only. But basically, if we get no compromise from Republicans we may simply ask the President to authorize a tactical nuclear strike on the Capitol, as well as targeting many congressional districts currently held by Conservatives."

"We will get this passed," Pelosi said, "It might take a few more generations, and we may be a bit worse for wear by then, but we're gonna get this bill passed for the American people whether they like it or not!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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