Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama using an arcane and barely known rule of the Senate today blocked all the utilities going to The White House. Most Americans were outraged and Republicans were gleeful as the media rushed to cover the story.
President Obama appeared in the Rose Garden this morning in front of the entire press corps. He was in his pajamas and had a two day growth of beard. He seemed calm as he addressed the reporters. "I just want everyone to know that we are doing fine. Sasha and Melia are having a ball and keeping up their school work by candlelight. Michelle and I had a romantic dinner last night and looked at the stars with the White House telescope. As for my Republican friends, I accept their right to perform their duties as they see fit. I will always strive for bi-partisanship and welcome their input. God bless them and God bless America. That is all for now. Please excuse me. Michelle, the girls and I have a game of Monopoly going and we want to finish it before dark." He left the podium and a bewildered and startled press corps rushed to Capitol Hill.
As reporters entered the House and Senate chambers,they were greeted by laughing and cheering Republican Senators and Congressmen who were high fiving, giggling, and slapping each other on the back. Senator Jim Demint of South Carolina was quoted as saying, "This isn't his Water-loo. It is his Water---less!" Several of the legislators reacting to his comment were seen running around in circles, giggling like school boys, and grabbing their own crotches in what was apparently a display of macho bravado. Reporters rushed to the Democratic chambers for reaction and found most of the members hiding under their desks and had no comment.
In other breaking news, the Army Corps of Engineers has announced that they are starting working drawings and construction plans to transform the State of Alabama into the worlds largest man-made lake with completion in the fall of 2012. Following the Engineers announcement the State Department issued a press release offering visas and a one way ticket to any third world country, to all current citizens of the state of Alabama.