Written by Mark Sides

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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for CWIA Climate-Control Plot Goes Awry; Snopocalypse Buries East Coast
God's Sense of the Ironic

In a press conference today, Professor Ferbert T. Weedledom and Dr. Felicia T. Weedledee exposed a covert Central Weather Intelligence Agency (CWIA) operation to deploy a cloud-seeding strategy to defeat Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden by creating a series of catastrophic snowstorms that would bury them alive in their mountain caves in Pakistan, decimating their ranks and infrastructure, and crippling their bus system.

Unfortunately, partisan bickering in Congress resulted in an underfunded operation and the local sub-contractors hired by the CWIA seeded the clouds of Pakistan with millions of more easily available snowcones rather than the preferred cloud-seeding compound, FRZURS, which is scientifically designed to cause precipitation.

In the dry climate of Pakistan, the snowcones prematurely evaporated into the upper atmosphere and the moisture drifted across the Atlantic, eventually to fall in the Snowpocalypse of 2010, which has crippled the entire eastern seaboard of the United States, not to mention CWIA offices in Washington, D.C.

No CWIA sources could be dug up for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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