Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Snow, Storm, Atlantic

Friday, 5 February 2010

image for East Coast Storm to Bring Eight Inches, Men Celebrate
Happy Easterner with his 8 Inches.

The National Weather Service has announced a winter storm warning for the bulk of the Atlantic coast, while the storm is expected to bring an additional six to eight inches of thick measurable depth.

Chief Doppler Radar forecaster, Ivana Hardmen, tells local authorities that residents can expect the hard-packed growth somewhere between 5:00 PM Eastern and 7:00 AM Saturday morning. "It will affect all residents, both men and women. If you like this sort of accumulation and depth, you should take advantage of it while it lasts."

Several men have been seen standing outside their homes in sweat pants or other loose fitting shorts with their eyes raised to the sky and their arms open, as if in anticipation of the storms promised growth. Women on the other hand, were reported to be holding vigil in their respective bedrooms, candles burning, in wait for the miraculous event to occur.

Thomas Thinbone of Worcester, MA tells reporters, "I mean, who turns their nose up at an additional eight inches. Not me, brother. Especially when I don't have to take a pill to get it."

Word, my brother. Word.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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