Barak Obama and Gordon Brown, today in a joint statement announced that petrol prices were set to rise again due to those pesky suicide bombers.
Blaming those flammable bomber characters around the world for a hugely volatile petroleum market. At one point Gordon Brown pointed the finger squarely in the direction of flame retarded bombers saying,
"they are made from petrol and are selfish, selfish, selfish, using all those chemicals, they could be converted to good quality pollutants over a long period of time to increase the climate quality in Glasgow or Crack Cocaine".
Barak Obama added, before sparking up a big fat spliff: "Why can't these thoughtless bombers just take their time, chill out a bit and appreciate the long term damage they could do to millions, just putting petrol in their cars! Rather than being all flames and fury!"
When pressed Obama added: "For Christ's sakes mother trucker. I may be Black but I'm still a thieving politician, just show me the mother trucking money and we will radicalise some more idiots by invading Iran.
"Wars make $$$$$$$ dude, just don't look while I line my fat pockets. I don't care if they don't really make suicide bombers out of petrol. Its my turn to start a war. Remember dude the public will swallow any shit I tell them I am Obama, and they are Americans after all".