Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Topics: Drugs

Sunday, 31 January 2010

image for California Pot Growers Threaten Federal Goverment's Afghanistan Bananastand Pot Plan
Will Pot Become the New "Legal Drug?" - Government Control Wars to Follow

Just as the U.S. Government moves to divert Afghan poppy farmers from fueling the world cocaine supply by paying them to grow marijuana instead, a desperate cash strapped California has launched a pot growing and smoking phenomena of its own.

A Nerdy Eric Holdover from the Clinton Administration stated to reporters that "California Pot Growers may be in violation of the U.S. Constitution" as interfering with Federal Government owned illegal enterprises is not authorized by our interpretation of the law."

Rush Limbaugh, a 2012 Presidential candidate and vocal critic of any pot finding its way to citizens was unavailable for comment as he was seen "acting kinda weird and giggly" after taking too many psychotropic pills he claims are "prescribed."

The same day, President O'Bomba was far more cooperative with reporters on the subject, stating "I've already tried the pot from California, back when I was making all those campaign promises and shakin' with Bill and Hillary on the road while we played good dog, bad dog on the voters; and compared to what we had in my days as a State Senator, it's far more potent. As a matter of fact, I was high for a week while all that Yemeni Yahoo crap was going down."

While trying to find more officials to interview on the emerging topic, a skipping and smiling Rahm Emanuel was sighted exiting a White House back door actually smoking some of the green stuff, but was heard swearing at such a high rate of speed, reporters were unable to jot down just what if anything was in the Presidential Chauffeur's mind other than rapidly flowing rainbows. Smoke was seen billowing out of the building as the door closed.
"Smelled kinda sweet but different" stated one reporter as he left the scene to find some of the green stuff.

In related news, Sacramento Television Stations are now reporting that California National Guard Units are escorting truck loads of freshly cut pot leaves to the state capital for "inspection and research by state representatives who are concerned about the explosion of pot popularity and want to understand the effects better from a personal standpoint."

According to State Capital representatives, The next legislative session is "sold out" and no more inside seats are available. A legislative bill to authorizing permanent Police Escorts of the State's new #1 Crop is expected to pass as the Federal Government ramps up its own plans to confiscate the valuable resource for their own marketing outlets operated by the CIA.

A glass eyed Governor turned Terminator was unavailable to reporters but his Office did say "He'd Be Back" as soon as he finished his smoke break, and that "The Governor has no intention of allowing the Federal Government to deny citizens to aspire to high and higher states of mind.

Reporting from a State Gone Spoofy,

DagNabbit Rabitt

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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