Written by Charlie Van Horn

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Wednesday, 13 October 2004

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'Ten Commandments' not at Family Night?

(Cumberland, MD--SP)Members of the Doo Wop group 'The Ten Commandments' were saddened Monday at a Judges decision to bar the stylish ensemble from performing on the front steps during Allegany County Days. Maryland District Judge Ross Darwyn stated in a ruling that, although reminiscent of a fifties era drive-in and poodle skirts, the material performed would not be suitable for a building of justice.

Gary Snipple and Roger Snipple, founding members of 'The Ten Commandments', or 'TTC', as many of the family members of members call them, are worried this may be the death blow to the group.

"We just want to sing, sing, sing..." says Roger, before Gary chimes in with "Sing about what!, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love!!"

TTC was formed in 1987 after the Snipple Brothers, along with the Dwyer Cousins and the Nettle Twins wanted to have a fun, musical alternative to the weekend bar and bowling scene.

"We have a blast doing this" spoke Barry Nettle, "We get to be big stars man, like playing in nursing homes. They really love us there. Them old folks don't get out too much so they just dig us."

The group was scheduled to perform on Saturday as part of 'Family Night' at Allegany Days. Instead of TTC, the organizers have scrambled and found another band to take their place.

'Heavens Hell Kitten Sex-a-hols', a local glam rock show featuring exotic dancers and live snakes, will take the Frontier Bank Main Stage at five p.m. to kick off the 'Family Night' activities. Wristbands for rides will be seven dollars for unlimited rides till eight p.m.

Clark Dwyer, the member of TTC known for his deep voice, was brought down even more by the decision from Judge Darwyn.

"We just want to entertain and provide a good, wholesome family show. At Sandhill Retirement center we would get crowds that would never want to leave. Well, not like they could" he added, "They had the brakes locked on the wheelchairs."

The next scheduled performance by "The Ten Commandments" was supposed to be at the Jefferson High School next Tuesday, as part of the schools "Celebrating the Crippled by Singing Week".

School Board officials are reviewing the courts ruling to decide if, in fact, TTC would be allowed to perform.

Board member Nancy Schlepperdine raised hopes that the event would still continue at the school.

"Who is going to sing to the Crippled? I don't know about you but I would rather have TTC than that sex crazed show by the 'Hell Kittens'"

"This is the worst thing that ever happened to this group" says Sammy 'Sam' Dwyer, the oldest of the band. "Well, except for the time our cousin Mark got killed on his motorcyle. Thats why we have only nine, you know."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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