Written by Xinix Xaxx
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Topics: Obesity, Fat, Cartoon

Saturday, 30 January 2010

In his first public appearance in fifteen months, Fat Albert waddled out to the podium to speak. He cleared his throat and said we, the press, would more easily understand if he showed us what he needed us to know. He stepped away from the podium, yanked at his collar and a fat suit fell away, revealing… Fat Albert isn't fat anymore!

"Hey hey hey, I'd down to one hundred ninety-nine pounds!" The now almost-unrecognizable Albert said with a grin splitting his face. "I cut back on what I ate, kept moving and exercising all the time and look! I can see my feet!"

Albert is now wearing size 38 pants, down from the 62's he had been wearing. He says he feels so good at this size, he's sorry he ever got as fat as he did. "Thin" Albert is planning a book tour, selling and promoting his new book, "I was fat." and giving motivational speeches on the subject of weight loss.

Albert says when Jabba The Hutt has his coronary it was a wake-up call for (Albert). He decided he couldn't "sit around and wait for his heart to go boom" and he got up and did something about it.

Albert will be appearing in Charlotte NC April 1 through 9, Raleigh NC April 11 through 20 and Virginia Beach from April 23 through May 2.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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