Written by rewinn
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Politics, earmarks

Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Scientists Discover the Three Laws of Earmarked Spending
Professor of Earmarks Harold Macmillan announcing the Three Laws

American political scientists were astounded today by the announcement of the three laws that completely explain earmarks in Congressional Spending:

1. My earmarks are reasonable and necessary for the health and safety of our community.

2. Your earmarks are questionable, but possibly defensible.

3.Earmarks inserted by anyone in another political party are wasteful, abusive and corrupt.

"This explains everything," said a spokesman for the Earmarks Study Institute (federally funded by special appropriation since 1988). "It is not necessary to study the actual content or impact of any particular earmark to determine whether it is worthy and helpful to our nation; you only need to know who proposed it."

Pundits applauded the discovery of these laws. "Formerly, we were sometimes inconvenienced by having to determine whether an earmark was funding the fight against a dread disease, or a literal bridge to nowhere," said one retired Congressman now working at the Talking Heads News Service. "Now, we can decide whether to support or deride an appropriation merely by looking at the (R) or (D) affixed to it!"

Make rewinn's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

6 19 1 21
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more