Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Thursday, 28 January 2010

Republicans Sat On their Hands at the State of the Union speech. Rudeness, ADD, Or Sexual Dysfunction? Experts Disagree.

For the first time in history, a panel of psychologists on cable TV analyzed the reaction of members of Congress to a State of the Union Speech. Most of their commentary surrounded the subject of the Republicans sitting on their hands as Obama spoke. The group consisted of a behavioral psychologist, a specialist in ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and Dr. Ruth, a leading sexologist, and a specialist in sexual dysfunction. Their analysis differed.

The behavioral psychologist stated that the behavior was simply a case of rudeness. We have seen this many times before and it is a simple diagnosis. People who are rude most generally don't know any other way to handle their disagreement with something or someone. They also tend to think that rudeness equates with strength or power. Often times it is just plain stupidity. It's as simple as that!

The ADD expert disagreed. "It is definitely ADD. You can tell by the way they sit on their hands. They just don't know what else to do. You can tell by the looks on their faces that they are confused and disoriented. No, this is definitely a case of ADD!"

Dr. Ruth was the last to speak. "I have been studying sexual dysfunction, all of my career. This is, beyond a doubt, a case of mass sexual dysfunction. Just notice the looks on their faces, kind of like they are out of body, somewhat glazed, and definitely with something on their minds that has nothing to do with the events going on at the time. If you noticed, many sat in their chairs long after the speech ended and continued to move around in their seats, wiggle is a word you could apply to it. Many left the chambers with their heads down, a sign of self loathing and disgust. No, this is definitely a case of mass sexual dysfunction!"

In other breaking news, Senator Joe Lieberman was asked upon leaving the speech if he was still considering switching to the Republican Party. "Yes, I think so," he replied, "Hands down, the Republicans definitely have more fun!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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