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Topics: Donald Rumsfeld

Friday, 10 November 2006

image for Donald Rumsfeld joins "Cirque Du Soleil" in Vegas
"I've always wanted to play the strip."

Las Vegas, Neveda - Donald Rumsfeld, due to his resignation today, has summoned up his latent talents and joined the cast of Cirque Du Soleil's "O" in Las Vegas.

"I've always wanted to play the "strip", Mr. Rumsfeld told reporters. "Who knew, that all those years of 'tap' lessons would afford me a new career at this time in my life, I couldn't be happier about passing the audition and joining the cast."

Donald, or "Don" as he prefers to be called now, says he only regrets that his mother is not alive to see him perform. "She made me take those tap lessons for years. I always hated them because the other kids in the neighborhood made fun of me. My older brothers would steal my tap shoes and put them on the dog. I didn't like that at all, and neither did the dog. The more I protested, the more she insisted. She was tying to make me into her own little Broadway star."

"My father finally stepped in and made my mother back off. He was afraid she was turning me into a 'sissy' and 'momma's boy'. I made up for it as a teenager by becoming a football star and all around 'tough' guy."

Directors for the show were a little worried about how people would react to seeing someone like Donald Rumsfeld dressed in a pair of ballet tights and dancing on stage, "So we let him keep the necktie, it make him look a bit more distinguished," they said.

We asked Mr. Rumsfeld what his family thought of his new career. "My wife was very nervous about me joining a dance troop at my age, but when she came and saw the show, she was both pleased and amazed. No one but my siblings growing up has ever seen this side of me, I gave up dance years ago, when we were still kids."

Choreographers have create a dance sequence in the show which they are calling "Peace de Resistance." Mr. Rumsfeld plays a jokester; devils advocate type, that taunts two opposing groups, the Peacekeepers (played by "little people" otherwise known as the vertically challenged, or "midgets") and the Resistance fighters (poorly armed and clad ,soldiers opposing an occupying army.)

The dance troop, originally from Toronto, Canada, are happy that they are able to employ such a large group of vertically challenged people. "There are alot of ?little people' in Canada, most of them French, who haven't worked since The Wizard of Oz," they said.

One entertainment critic had this to say about the new show. "The Cirque, has finally come up with a show that makes it worth the almost $250.00 ticket price, dancing midgets, and Rumsfeld in tights, I'll buy!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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