Social Secretary Desiree Rogers out did herself last night in filling Congress with hundreds of Chicago Campaign Contributors, Community Activists and Weather Stripping Contractors, leaving Senators and Congressman no choice but to adjoin to a neighboring Pennsylvania Avenue Bar and get shit faced, thereby missing the President's address.
The elected officials, after hoisting a few, let down their guard, and actually engaged in bipartisan discourse, told a few jokes, and in general had a good time while also lowering their political defenses.
Back in Congress, the State of the Union Address, which was preempted by Fox News with "Bed Time with Bonzo", starring former President Ron Reagan, out drew CNBC's coverage with a 99 share...unheard of in historical Nielsen Ratings.
Most of the actual attendees at the event said they really couldn't stay focused on the President's address, mainly because in the 45 minute speech he used the word "I" 937 times. "I kept waiting to hear what "he" was going to do for "us", said part time Cicero Weather Stripper Clarence "Biggie" Johnson...."it seems like it's all about 'him' now...being black myself, I can tell you no one likes an uppity Negro to come on and just talk about himself, unless he's a pro-athlete..you know...like T.O. or some such!"
By the end of the speech, which was not interrupted by choreographed applause as in previous years, the President seemed dazed and confused as he walked down the aisle and had his ass grabbed, his sack squeezed, and a few Sisters pressed phone numbers into his hands, the latter instances causing Michelle to go 'ape shit' in the gallery.
Back at the pub, there was a spirited dart game going on between Tea Baggers, Blue Dog Democrats, Conservatives and Independents, as Liberal Dems had been denied entrance by the Doorman.
Over in the corner a group of Blue Dogs were telling Nancy Pelosi jokes to anyone who would listen, a couple of Democratic Female Congresswomen were writing Scott Browns cell phone number down on the stalls in the ladies room, and in a final toast voted 461-0 that it was much more fun to fuck around with each other after a few drinks, than fuck over the public.
At the end of the evening, everyone called a limo, and headed home to someone else's townhouse showing true Bi Partisan Ship and Safe Driving Principles!