Written by Xinix Xaxx
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Topics: Kids, Teens, conversation

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

image for A New Trend…Talking
Danielle Jordan (top) "calls" Amy Flemming's daily life.

Teenagers today have many flash-in-the-pan ideas that last a few weeks. Most of these are not impactful, at least not on the general population. However, the newest trend has people across the country groaning, cursing and refusing to leave their homes.

Kids today are hiring announcers and narrators. The narrators, or "callers" follow the teens around with a microphone and small amplifier and jabber out a constant, running play-by-play of the teenager's activities. Even the most humdrum of actions, like picking up a piece of paper, is loudly broadcast for any and all to hear. It gets worse when several people have callers in the same place at the same time.

"It was like a hundred different T V programs all running at once," Gladys Johnson complained, "Like having a hundred ball games all called by different people going. It's loud, it's confusing, and it's stupid."

The blow-by-blow account of someone eating their lunch might not appeal to everyone, but the teenagers say it makes them feel important.

"It makes me feel like a celebrity, like everyone wants to hear what I'm doing." Said Aaron Chapman, 16, of Windsor, ME. "And when my friends have callers its like I get to hang out with celebrities."

However, when Chapman's parents got the credit card bill for the Visa Aaron had used to hire his caller, they were not pleased.

"It cost us almost $8,000!" they exclaimed. "We weren't sure how we would pay for that."

They found a way. They rented Aaron out as a caller for one of his high school's football rivals. Now Aaron gets to walk about describing, in a flattering manner, a quarterback he hates doing things to girls Aaron wishes he could date.

"Maybe callers aren't as cool as I thought," he admits after a long day of watching his rival doing schoolwork.

Unfortunately, Aaron Chapman seems pretty alone in this thought, at least among teens. Moe and more people are starting to hire callers and there is talk from one of the major companies or out-sourcing to India to maximize their profits. The only question the teens have is whether someone a few thousand miles away will call their lives correctly, not caring about the cost or the company's profit margin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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