ROME, from the desk of the POPE - Catholic Priests everywhere are getting their orders directly from the Pope himself.
The diocese of the Roman Catholic community has been embarrassed by the many altercations of altar boys that have been brought to the attention of the public.
As a result of the new rigid rules delivered by the Pope, "All priests, present and now in seminars will have to undergo a castration ceremony which will be for the good of our profession".
As a result of this direct order, it has been reported that there has been a lack of enrollments into the priesthood across the nation.
Also, some churches have reported that their priests are turning in resignations at a rapidly increasing rate.
"What will this do to the Catholic community at large if this rigid ruling stays in effect"? wonders one elderly priest from St Jason of Divinity.
Other priests from various other cities believe that those who have never been involved in any altercations with their altar boys should be exempt from this ruling.
Still another elderly priest who asked that his church not be mentioned, wondered if having a relationship with the church housekeeper (female) would fall under this criteria.
Many parish members from various churches across the nation have written to commend the Pope for his actions.
The American Civil Liberties is said to be looking into the matter.