Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 21 January 2010

image for John Edwards: Proof Democrats have More Fun

Washington is still reeling over the admission that John Edwards did indeed father a 'love child' with former presidential campaign staffer, Rielle Hunter. The child, now 2 years old, has been kept from the spotlight until now, while paternity could be established through DNA testing. Edwards was named the winner in that lottery.

Though republicans have had their share of self proclaimed 'family men with high moral values' who have crashed and burned under similar bouts with infidelity, the democrats have managed to perfect the concept of 'Fun on the Campaign Trail'.

What better way to woo a young campaign volunteer, than to claim that you'll soon be the leader of the free world. That plus a modestly priced bottle of domestic champagne, which the French will say is only sparkling white wine, and you have the basic ambience for the short term party to start. "My wife", pause for effect, "Just doesn't understand me". Pop the cork, pop goes the weasel, and then take a chance on that 9 month lottery.

John F. Kennedy was perhaps the first to write the playbook on Democratic Fun and Frolic. If you can bag Marilyn Monroe, you're doing something right. Others have followed in his footsteps, more recently including Bill Clinton, though no one would have placed that devil in the blue dress in the same league as Ms. Monroe. The trick has always been, to not get caught. That alone is the difficult enough for most men, because we are that stupid when being controlled by a tiny brain just south of the beltline.

Edwards new daughter is expected to be Republican, now that financial, housing and health care support will be assured through the establishment of his paternity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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