The antics of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Christmas Day Underpants Bomber, have been directly linked to global warming, climate experts confirmed today.
"We are convinced that the accurate rise in global temperatures that we correctly predicted resulted in this botched attempt at a terrorist attack", said one expert who refused to be named.
"The planning of the attack and the degree of its success are inextricably linked to the climate crisis we are experiencing at this moment.", he added.
"Even if the plane had been blown up in the air, this would only have been because of the way in which global temperatures are moving inextricably upwards.", he continued.
Asked whether there was any event, big or small, that had nothing to do with temperature rises the spokesman looked at our reporter and accused him of apotasy before stoning him to death.
King Canute is 1,000 years old.