U.S. President Barack Obama admitted today that he responded swiftly and competently to the disaster in Haiti solely for the purpose of annoying his critics.
"My first impulse was to go have birthday cake with John McCain," Obama told reporters, "Or maybe play some air guitar, like my predecessor did during Katrina. But then I thought, well, actually it's not McCain's birthday yet and air guitar looks pretty stupid now that we have Rock Band set up at the White House."
"Then it came to me: wouldn't it drive Republican party leaders like Rush Limbaugh crazy if I responded to this crisis with quick and competent action?
Oh, man, I just couldn't pass this one up!"
Pundits condemned the Obama approach. Rush Limbaugh sputtered angrily "Humanitarian, compassionate ... they'll use this to burnish their credibility with the "light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country!". Bill O'Reilly complained that the money would be stolen until "discipline is imposed!".
"Mission Accomplished!" chuckled Obama upon hearing of these reactions. "Just by showing competent leadership, I'm driving them crazy!"