Written by Special Agent Love
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Saturday, 2 October 2004

image for Michael Moore Attacked by Suicide Bomber

Crawford, TX - Famed movie producer Michael Moore (Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling for Columbine) was the target of a suicide bomber's attack while shoooting footage for his next documentary style short film, "Cold Dead Hands, Bush and the NRA" in the President's hometown of Crawford, Texas.

Moore was chasing down a NRA member in the parking lot of the WalMart, attempting to ask him a question, when the attack came. A lone bomber, riding a moped that was covered with sticks of dynamite ran the moped directly into Michael Moore. Luckily for Moore, the NRA member and about 30 people gathered to watch Moore film, the dynamite failed to ignite and explode.

You can see in the photo, the damage done to the bomber and his cycle. In typical Michael Moore style, he continued to film during the entire near death experience. "I think he bruised my shin. Other than that, I feel great. I got the whole thing on tape and I believe I recognised the bomber from the Republican National Convention." said Moore. "Let's see, I'm in Crawford Texas, I am the target of a professional hit by the RNC, hmmm, I just wonder who could really be behind this?"

Moore may have actually been eluding to President Bush being involved when he was overheard saying, "...and there was a cell phone connected to the fuses on the dynamite. Who else do you know that lives in Crawford Texas that is dumb enough to think that would work?"

President Bush has been unavailable for comment, and he was in Kentucky campaigning when the incident occurred. A spokesman for the White House, who said his name was Scott, tells us that the President extends his anger towards the failed suicide bomber and asks to be certain that Mr. Moore is not dead.

Moore's death may have been just what the President needed to get his poll numbers back up after his loss at last night's debate with John Kerry. But fate, it seems, has stuck her umbrella into a terrorist networks spokes and derailed any hope of raising Bush's fear vote.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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