The Senate floor was cleared in a record 45 minutes yesterday when a siren sounded and someone shouted "Terrorist Raid" plus only two older Senators were injured after being once again trampled underfoot by a screaming, wild crowd.
"I do wish they would practice some control", stated officer Henry Cassius Clay, head of security. "We go through this in slow motion and everything goes fine, but when the siren goes off, it's every man for himself."
His partner agreed, saying that he guessed that a lot of them remembered that plane hitting the Pentagon in 2001
"But like Henry said, they trample over the older guys. At least they only have a few cuts and bruises this time."
As the Senators finally were convinced that the alarm wasn't real, they came back in and slapped each other on the back, sang "America The Beautiful" and waved flags for a solid hour.
After that, a very timid Senator Joe Lieberman admitted that he was the siren as he had suddenly passed a kidney stone just as he was getting to the mike to discuss the new health care system.