Fox news was proud to add Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin to their tight family earlier this week. Their fair and balanced forum should be a perfect place for the perky former Vice-Presidential candidate.
A Fox insider was able to give some information about Palin's contract but the monetary amount is locked up so tight that even the IRS will not find out how much she is being paid. Mrs. Palin was even kind enough to confirm these details with a short interview.
Among the information that is being allowed to trickle down is the "no-cry clause", Palin insisted that she does not need to cry on camera (unlike Glen Beck's 10-tear a night clause) because she says the country knows she loves America.
"For geez-sakes," Mrs. Palin replied, "the only people who cry in my household are male. And they are crying cause they have poopy diapers or have to be the one who changes the poopy diapers. I only cry if I didn't shoot the moose or bear I was aiming at, cause it will cost me a bucket-full of money to hire that helicopter again, now that I cannot use Alaska's National Guard helicopters."
The only other portion of the deal leaked is the original name of her new show. The show, now called "Real American Stories" was to originally be called "The Foot In Mouth Show".
Former Governor Palin explained, "I have put my foot in my mouth on many an occasion in front of the media . Especially in front of that 'B' Katie Curic, heck I gagged myself with my foot during that interview. I think that REAL Americans would like to do the same if I encouraged them. It should be fun!"