Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Friday, 15 January 2010

(Los Angeles-CA) An insider has revealed to me that "American Idol", may be considering "700 Club" founder evangelist Pat Robertson to replace Simon Cowell.

My informant claims the information came from an e-mail that was leaked by an "American Idol" staffer who is close to the creator of the show. Robertson went to the head of the judge class, which included such names as Sean "Diddy" Combs and Sir Elton John.

The 80 year old Robertson came to the attention of "American Idol" after making the statement that the devastating earthquake hitting Haiti was due to a pact the nation made with the devil to free itself from French colonial rule. "They said, We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'Okay it's a deal,'" was the exact quote from the broadcast.

The e-mail cites this quote and the reaction to it. "This is Cowell concentrate. Can you imagine the comments he will make if one of Idol contestants is Muslim or even Italian!" However, the e-mail also noted certain pitfalls. "It's far from a slam dunkā€¦not without risk. Robertson puts 'True story' at the absolute wrong spot in the critique." And finally Robertson's look, "Do you think he would work in a black T-shirt and mullet? Should we leave that gray, the hair not the T?"

Calls I made to "American Idol" were not returned, but I haven't been paying my phone bills. However, the "Idol" production office did issue the following statement. "There are many people being considered for the position Simon Cowell will be vacating at the end of this season. To say that Pat Robertson is a candidate would be as absurd as to say that Sir Elton John is not."

The devil was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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