New York, NY-- A three-week old infant was arrested by TSA workers today on suspicion of terrorism. The airport security workers said the infant was murmuring strange words as he tried to board a plane to Mexico with his parents. The parents were also arrested as a precaution.
The troubles began while the unnamed infant was sitting with his parents in the airport terminal. Astute TSA workers noticed the infant was trying to communicate something to somebody.
"He kept saying words like 'goo-goo' and 'gah-goo-ghaa'. It sounded a lot like Arabic to us and we became more concerned." said TSA supervisor Loretta Ebonics.
Ms. Ebonics alerted Homeland Insecurity about the infant. The quick-thinking supervisor also noticed something hidden in the baby's diapers.
"Something was sticking out of his diaper. It looked like a cartridge of some kind. We decided to strip-search him." said the supervisor.
Ms. Ebonics stripped the baby herself. The clever woman found an unidentified 'brownish' substance hidden in the diaper. She immediately arrested the infant, the parents and everyone within 1000 feet. The airport terminal was evacuated.
The brownish substance was sent to Homeland Insecurity for testing. It was said to have a chemical odor. Ms. Ebonics said the odor made her ill, and immediately filed for workmen's compensation.
The baby was sent to Gitmo for water-boarding. He will need to explain what 'goo-goo-goo' and 'ga-goo-ga' mean in English, and why he had a potentially devastating chemical substance hidden in his diaper. His name is not being released because he is a minor.