Washington DC-- Two Roman Catholic nuns were arrested today for smoking marijuana outside the National Cathedral. Sister Mary Jane and Sister Sensimilla were charged with possession of a controlled substance and then released on bail. The two nuns belong to the order of Our Lady of Bong Hits.
FBI Special Agent Dana Scully-Skinner is credited with making the arrests. She spoke at the doors to the cathedral and gave some comments.
"I was on another case and noticed two Sisters smoking a joint together just outside the door to this cathedral. I am a devout Roman Catholic myself, and take no joy in the arrests, I was simply doing my job." stated the agent.
The Sisters of Our Lady of Bong Hits are a new order. The order was founded in the last days of Pope John Paul II, after he began smoking marijuana. The nuns are easily identified by their bright green habits and their red eyes. They also sport a crucifix on top of a seven-pronged marijuana leaf. The order believes marijuana is a gift from God, and that smoking weed brings one closer to Him.
"It's like, you know, just so cool. Like, the Virgin Mary, you know, she smoked. So, we just like. You know." explained Sister Mary Jane.
"So, you know, we usually smoke in the convent, but, we just like, you know decided to...what were we talking about??" said a very stoned Sister Sensimilla.
Agent Scully-Mulder wanted to put everything in perspective.
"I fully support the Sisters religious calling, although I must uphold the law. The Supreme Court may need to figure this one out. We live in difficult times, and there must be a new way of looking at things." said the blue-eyed agent.
Agent Scully-Skinner then lit up a joint. She took a few good hits, and then went into the cathedral to pray.