In breaking news today, Fox News announced that it has signed former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to a multiyear deal. According to sources at FOX, Palin will be a frequently featured commentator. Additionally, she is expected to take on responsibilities of hosting specials.
One Executive announced confidentially that the first special has already been planned. "She will be hosting a children's hour where she will be reading One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish," he stated. "We are a little nervous, but we are confident that after a few months preparation, she will nail it."
This announcement comes on the heels of what is said to be some of the toughest negotiations ever. The Palin camp only signed after Fox agreed to her demands that no one use more than three syllable words around her, and that no one asks her pesky gotcha-y questions like "Do you even know what that word means?", or "Were you able to solve any of the puzzles in Highlights magazine this time?"
Initially reached for comment, Palin's spokesperson Meg Stapleton only said "Shhh! She's napping." Stapleton later issued a press release saying in part, "Of course Governor Palin is thrilled to be joining the fine folks at Fox News. She can't wait to make her first appearance. Until then she will keep being Mavericky, looking out for Joe six pack, and keepin' an eye on those pesky Russians."