Anonymous sources say that Tina Fey will replace Sarah Palin at the T-Baggers convention in February but most of the attendees will not know it isn't Palin. Insiders say that Palin has told them she just couldn't do it.
"I am sick of them" Palin is reported to have said. "They are rude crude and unattractive. The women don't make any sense and when the men look at me I feel like I am in a room with a thousand John McCain's looking at me! As Alexander Hamilton said, the masses are asses. You betcha on that one! If I hear Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, one more time I think I am going to puke.
This gig is almost not worthwhile and if it weren't for the money I'd go back up to Alaska but then they'd want to take my picture on that God awful fishing boat with those smelly fish and then at the end of the day it would be Todd, always wanting to play dog sled and I am tired of getting mat burns on my knees.
"No,Tina can do this. I think it turns her on. I am going to take a long rest. If they ever found out I graduated Bryn Mawr summa cum laude, got my Masters from Harvard, and my PHD from Columbia, they'd freaking shit! No, it's time for me to be me for awhile.
I'll catch you guys later, going to do some policy wonk shit with Gore for a couple of days."
When reporters caught up with Tina Fey at her hotel where she was rehearsing her speech to the T-Baggers, she was asked how she felt about doing the Palin speech. She told them, "I love it. I love the Sarah----Sarah---Sarah---stuff and the screaming and the yelling and the men looking at me like a thousand John McCain's."
"What will you do after this, you know, like what is in your future"
Fey looked at them, grinned, and winked the famous Sarah Palin wink. "I don't know. How do you play sled dog?"